My sister told me about it and it sounded sad. I heard a few more things about it and watched the movie trailer. Then a cancer friend told me she read it and loved it.
I gave in and read it!
It took me less than 2 days to read, it was a good easy read!
If you haven't heard about it, it is about cancer kids, ya I know that sounds sad, but the way they all viewed the world, life, and death was wonderful.
In the last few months I have had alot of the same thoughts and wonders, as the character. Maybe thats why I enjoyed it, I could really relate to them.
I have a few favorite quotes from the book...
* You die in the middle of your life, in the middle of a sentence.
You really do die in the middle of your life, or at least you should. I feel like even if you are given the horrible news that you have cancer, the killer, you shouldn't stop living your life, doing the things you love and loving the people around you. No one wants to die, we all just want to keep living, want one more day, want to finish the sentence.
* "as if the only thing I'd ever done was have cancer."
I really can relate to this sentence. What was my life before cancer? Will anyone remember me for anything other than that young mom that had cancer? Why does everyone want to be "friends" with the cancer patient?
* What a slut time is, she screws everybody.
There is never enough time, especially when death is on your mind.
* Grief does not change you, Hazel, it reveals you.
I like to believe this is true. It says alot about a person on how they act in the hard times. How your relationship handle the hard time. I feel like this "life experience" has made me more thankful for the little things, love the people around me more, and believe it or not, more positive.
If you get the chance read the book, it is a great read and really makes you think about life, death, and the way you live your life.
I am almost done with chemo, on Tuesday it will be my last infusion, hopefully forever and ever.
Everyone keeps saying "your done after this", and I kinda want to scream.
I am not "done" after Tuesday, just done with chemo.
I am not going to be "done" for a long time.
The thought of it coming back somewhere else is on my mind now more than ever, and I know the 2nd time around with cancer is not quite as forgiving as the first. It scares the shit out of me.
I am at that point where I am afraid that the next person to ask me how I am feeling, is really going to hear just how I am feeling.
They aren't going to hear my normal response, "good, almost there".
They are going to hear the truth, I feel like I have had 7 rounds of chemo. Like I have no hair, eyebrows, or eyelashes. Like I am ugly and try to avoiding seeing my reflection in the mirror. Like I have these hard, uncomfortable, painful, kickball like bumps where my boobs use to be. Like I have had the life sucked out of me trying to kill the thing that was killing me.
In short, I feel alot like shit.
I really am so excited and happy to be done with chemo, it has been very hard on my mind, body, soul, and family. The no eyebrows and eyelashes thing is really taking its tole on me. I know it is just hair, but shave your eyebrows off and then tell me it is just hair.
After I get some hair back, and don't have neuropathy so horrible, I can start to feel like life can start to go back to "normal", whatever that is.
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