I've leaned a lot about myself in the last few months, one thing that I am realizing is that I don't know how to talk about myself or personal stuff, so I keep a lot if that inside, write on my blog, or I tell Kyle, he's the only one who I tell all that too.
Radiation has been hard, hard in a very different way than chemo was.
I am not sick, or exhausted, but I am tired and sad, and hungry.
With chemo there was so much support, everyone wore pink for me, texts making sure I was still alive, calls that I was to tired to answer, I felt alot of support from everyone.
Radiation, well I haven't had a lot of people checking in on me, in 20 treatments, no one has wore pink, and really the first 3 weeks of radiation were harder emotionally than the 4 months of chemo.
Sometimes it feels like I was diagnosed with chemo not cancer, after chemo was over then people just think you are healed, but really that's the time when you need the most support.
But I am over it and I probably had a lot more support than I think, I was a black rain cloud and couldn't see it.
After going into Vegas 5 days a week, right in the middle of the day, I am tired and I get nothing done.
By the time Friday gets here I just want to sit and take a nap and not leave my house.
But.......
Tomorrow is the last day of radiation, (thank the good Lord above).
Radiation has been hard, hard in a very different way than chemo was.
I am not sick, or exhausted, but I am tired and sad, and hungry.
With chemo there was so much support, everyone wore pink for me, texts making sure I was still alive, calls that I was to tired to answer, I felt alot of support from everyone.
Radiation, well I haven't had a lot of people checking in on me, in 20 treatments, no one has wore pink, and really the first 3 weeks of radiation were harder emotionally than the 4 months of chemo.
Sometimes it feels like I was diagnosed with chemo not cancer, after chemo was over then people just think you are healed, but really that's the time when you need the most support.
But I am over it and I probably had a lot more support than I think, I was a black rain cloud and couldn't see it.
After going into Vegas 5 days a week, right in the middle of the day, I am tired and I get nothing done.
By the time Friday gets here I just want to sit and take a nap and not leave my house.
But.......
Tomorrow is the last day of radiation, (thank the good Lord above).
I am surprisingly not as sun burnt as I thought I would be, and after changing where they treat on Tuesday, my throat is already feeling better!
Kyle says I am a roller coaster, and I am!
Last week I was low, like way low. Everything made me sad, then mad, then frustrated, then sad again. I cried alot, and I never cry.
This week, I am a ball of sunshine and everyone who irritates me I pretend they don't exist, and it is working!
I am feeling like I thought I would after I finished chemo,
like I can breath finally.
I know I still have a long road ahead of me, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
So tomorrow by 10 in the AM, I will be done and get a whole week of not having to go to Vegas, I am doing a happy dance already!!!
Kyle says I am a roller coaster, and I am!
Last week I was low, like way low. Everything made me sad, then mad, then frustrated, then sad again. I cried alot, and I never cry.
This week, I am a ball of sunshine and everyone who irritates me I pretend they don't exist, and it is working!
I am feeling like I thought I would after I finished chemo,
like I can breath finally.
I know I still have a long road ahead of me, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
So tomorrow by 10 in the AM, I will be done and get a whole week of not having to go to Vegas, I am doing a happy dance already!!!
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